What would it be like

Today I have been thinking what it would be like if I had carried Jackson full term. Would things be any different for me? Well of course the obvious stands out that I wouldn't have a son that doesn't require such special attention. I can almost bet that I would be working full time at a place I hated and didn't respect me or my ideas. I wouldn't be living in my parents home looking like some sort of a bum. I may have even started back in school. I wouldn't feel like I have aged ten years.

I  find myself in a rut every once and a while. I like to talk a great game that everything is so easy but sometimes its not. I sometimes get angry when I see babies that are the same age as Jackson doing so much more than him. Maybe its not even anger but its more jealous. Jealous that he works so much harder. That at the end of the day I am excited if Jackson eats four pieces of soft carrots and a half a jar of peaches. That is two scoots across the floor makes me tear up. Yes I am very proud of my son and I don't ever want to take away from all the progress he has made.

So today is a bummer day and I wish it wasn't. However writing about it makes it better.

Lazy Saturdays

Not much has been going on with Mr. Jackson lately which is a relief to say the least. His physical therapy has been a slow and steady progress and I am so grateful for his therapist Lisa because she pushes Jackson even when he feels like giving up. He now sits unassisted for about 5-10 seconds and tummy time is a breeze now. He is starting to roll around the house and just starting to scoot very slowly. Feeding has started to become a struggle because Jackson now doesn't like anything with thickness to it. However he loves to eat soft carrots, potatoes and his favorite is tapioca pudding. I have a feeling everything will just be a slow progress with Jackson. He does everything on his own time.
We went to his hearing doctor yesterday and has his hearing tested. The hearing loss is still there but it hasn't gotten any worse so that is a relief. Until next time!

Sweet Alice

Today my niece, Alice was brought into the world at 11:45am, weighing 5.8lbs and 18 inches long. Its a strange thing....pregnancy. At least for me it is. This past year I have watched people have babies and watched in amazement how beautiful it is to see babies be carried full term. I must admit I spent most of the time feeling so jealous that I couldn't provide that for Jackson.(that is for another blog) I remember when Mandi, my sister-in-law turned 24 weeks and I thought to myself, that little girl in there looks like a real baby. That is when my sweet boy began life. Mandi and I have a very sisterly bond and yes sometimes we haven't always agreed on everything but like sisters we care and love each other. I've known Mandi since she was in middle school. I have seen this little girl turn into a mommy and it is such a precious thing. I have been to weekly ultrasounds and sat in waiting rooms for hours just to make sure everything was okay with Alice and Mandi. I have been worried sick that my niece would come into this world too soon. I have babbled Mandi's head off with things she will need when Alice gets home. So to finalize I am soooo glad my niece came into this world safe and healthy. I love her tons and I can't wait to spoil her! 

Alice Jean Laverne and her FAVORITE Aunt Kristi